Awkward Chick
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my favorite part about the Moon is she’s there for me even when I’m not there for me
(via fuckyahumor)
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You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
(via hotboyproblems)
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i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me
(via confirmance)
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Witnesses say they asked Britney why she shaved her head and her response was, “I’m tired of plugging things into it. I’m tired of people touching me.”
i can never not reblog this
T-Pain: “That was the most beautiful thing in the world. Do you know why she was shaving her head? Because it was so important to other people. She is like, “Listen. Don’t touch my hair anymore. Stop touching my hair.” People were like, “We’ve got to make your hair before you go outside. You can’t leave.” She went … “Now I don’t have hair. What you going to do?”
The older I get the more her breakdown seems less ‘unbalanced’ and more ‘completely understandable’
it’s because other people told you she was unbalanced at a point in your life when you didn’t have the life experience or wisdom to understand otherwise
(via confirmance)
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When my cousin Olivia was three, she started preschool and became best friends with a boy named Abraham. Most people called him Abe, even then, because Abraham is a mouthful for a three year old and, to most people, it’s the logical nickname.
Not, however, according to Olivia, who decided to nickname him Ham.
No one’s really sure whether she wasn’t totally listening when he was introduced and only caught the last part of his name, or if she decided Abe was too boring a nickname, or maybe she was just hungry, but the nickname has stuck for the last twenty years. Of course, Olivia was and still is the only person to use it.
When they were seven or eight, he decided to get back at her by calling her Olive. That nickname stuck, too, and they’ve been Olive and Ham since. But only to each other. They get highly offended if anyone else calls them that.
Last night was their seventh anniversary, and Abe proposed to Olivia, and she said yes. And how did she announce it on Facebook, you may ask?
People used to tell me “If you like ham so much, why don’t you just marry it?” So I am.
Shout out to Olive and Ham, who are still engaged and adorable and who are planning on getting married sometime next summer
(via itsagifnotagif)
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kylie jenner’s oscar worthy snapchat story…
lmaoooo at Caitlyn being on the bed
(via confirmance)
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“Life seems unfair. You put someone first who constantly puts you second. You study your ass off day and night for exams only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 60% back. You’re there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don’t reply to your message. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything, and they’re just walking away with it.”
— (via phototags)
(via aestheticacadema)
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I raise you
Ante up
hey
i have no idea why this made me laugh so hard.
(via fuckyahumor)